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Buying an engagement ring shouldn’t be a stressful experience, but all too often it is.  In this blog, I’ll share my experience with you and hopefully help you avoid the mistakes I made.

Here’s the story of the first time I went to look at engagement rings.

My girlfriend (now my wife) and I were at the mall and on a whim decided to look at rings.  We went to one of the big stores next to the mall (I won’t name names…).  After being buzzed through the security door, we were met by a greeter.  The immediately separated us.  My wife went off to a room to watch wedding planning videos and drink cappuccino.  I was met by a salesperson.

First, I was shown several ready made rings.  During this time, they asked questions about what type of ring I was looking for, how much I wanted to spend and what I did for a living.

Then, they told me that what I really needed was to build a ring from scratch.  After all they said, your girlfriend is one of a kind, her ring deserves to be too.  So, I was shown into a small room with a microscope.  That was when I met the next person, a gemologist.  She had on a white coat (trying to look like a scientist) and talked to me about grading diamonds and what the letter classifications meant.  We determined what I was looking for in a diamond and she went to look in the vault for ones that matched my criteria.

When she came back, we looked at them under the microscope.  Now remember, I hadn’t planned on even getting this far when we had walked in the door.  We were just looking.  But I felt pressured to continue on in the buying process.  We talked about price and I told her that frankly, I wasn’t able to afford the stones she had brought out.  So she said she would check the vault for something more in my price range.

I should have left at that point, but I didn’t.

When she came back the second time, she told me that it was my lucky day.  She had found a stone that met the criteria that we had discussed, but that it was several hundred dollars cheaper than the ones I had been shown before.  Of course, I asked why the price was different.  She told me that the price of the stone was based on the price they had paid for it and that this stone had been bought at a time when diamonds were less expensive than they were at that time.

She told me though that this was the only one they had at that price and that when it was gone, the price would go up.  There was no way to tell when the diamond would be sold, so I really needed to buy it today.  I objected, pointing out that I had only come in to look and that I wasn’t ready to buy.

She responded that I had already agreed that the stone met the criteria we had discussed before and that it was in my price range.  Furthermore, I had looked at it (even under a microscope) and agreed that it was beautiful.  It was just the kind of diamond my girlfriend deserved.  She didn’t see what the problem was.

I continued to object.  Then, the manager walked in.  (He was probably hanging around outside the door.)  He asked how things were, if I was being treated right.  He offered me cappuccino.  However, he didn’t move from his position between me and the door.  Now remember, they had ushered me into a small room to look at the diamonds.  So I was pretty much trapped.

Finally, my girlfriend showed up.  She had gotten tired of waiting and went looking for me.  When it became clear that I wasn’t going to buy anything, they finally gave up.  We were buzzed out of the security door and quickly made our escape.

That experience really turned me off to shopping for an engagement ring.  I actually didn’t end up buying a ring for more than a year after that.  If I had it to do over again, I’d start at Blue Nile.  You can compare sizes, styles and bands all with a click of your mouse and see how much it will cost you.  No getting stuck in small rooms with pushy sales people.